How to Stay Grateful: Stop And Smell the Roses

Stop and smell the roses. That is how we can feel grateful.

It is hard to stay grateful when everything around you is falling apart. At normal times, end of the month means struggling to pay the bills and monthly loan repayments on time. Now in times of rising prices such as the one we are facing, increases in fuel price automatically pushes up the price of other things, especially food and transportation prices. It goes without saying that prices of other consumer goods will also go up, eg., utilities, clothings, construction materials, etc., etc., which will surely hit hard on consumers. But what concerns common people like you and me most are the rising prices of food and fuel for these are our basic daily necessities.

Even as I write, common people on the streets in many countries have held and are planning to hold street protests to convey their anger and frustrations to their respective governments over the rising prices of fuel and food.

So, in the face of all these, how can we remain grateful?

Of course, it's hard. It is hard when our pay doesn't last even till three-quarters or even half the month, and we are perpetually indebted to credit card companies, loans sharks, friends and families. So, how to stay grateful, much less hopeful, on a day-to-day basis?

Well, my take is this. We actually don't have much choice but to be grateful. We have to feel grateful at where we are at, so that we have the strength to look forward to tomorrow, to have the hope to go on living.

The more you complain, the more you feel bad. The more negative thoughts you have, the more bad and stressful things will come your way. Since we expend more or less the same energy on 'giving thanks' as we do on 'making complaints', why not spend our precious energy on giving thanks and feeling positive? By being thankful and feeling good, we will attract more of the same positive feelings and good vibrations to us.

Yes, we just have to be grateful for what we have and where we are in life. How can we do this you may ask. Well, for one, just feel grateful. What I am saying here is...make yourself feel grateful. Of course, you can't force yourself to be grateful. Because the more you force yourself to do something, the more you will rebel. What I am saying is...make yourself feel grateful. You can actually do this. How?

You can start by taking stock of your own life. Of course, you cannot be taking stock of your life when you are on the go, or running around doing errands. You can only look at yourself and take stock of what's in your life by taking time off. I don't mean a vacation, or going off to some expensive getaway or retreat. What I mean is something close to what the old adage tell us: stop and smell the roses.

STOP...

To me, stop means take time out. You take time out, just sit still & breathe or you can meditate, your choice. You can actually do this everyday. The best time, for me, is to take about half hour off in the morning to meditate. You have to plan and accommodate for that half or one hour that you need to sit still or meditate, meaning, your alarm has to be set for that amount of time earlier. I am a working person. Every morning starts off with a rush, getting ready to work and the kids to school. That's routine; there's no escape. Now once everyone gets dropped off to where they should be, that's the best time I have to myself, that is until I reach my work place where all the madness starts again.

So I have this half hour or so to myself. And there is this tiny chapel on my way to work. So, everyday of the week, I stop by, say a little prayer, and meditate. When I say meditate, I don't mean those complex meditation and exercise that you have to pay good money for. What I mean is just sit still and breathe for a few minutes. I read somewhere (can't remember where exactly that most of the problems people have arise from their inability to sit still and and breathe for a few minutes.

You can perform this simple meditation by just sitting still and breathe, at first. Continue to do so for a few minutes, and then slowly, you can feel a stream of energy flowing towards you, and all you have to do is rest back into it, allow it to flow into you and accept it. Rest into this natural state of being. You will start regaining your energy and feeling refresh after a few minutes of stillness and silence.

Stillness and silence will give you the time and space that can lead towards this phase of returning to yourself...and finding the peace within. Peace of mind will allow you to give thanks.

...AND SMELL THE ROSES

Smell the roses just means appreciate life and give thanks. Be grateful.

How do you create gratitude? A feeling of gratitude can only come by look at things...at all things in life... in a positive way. Make the effort to see the good things in life. Appreciate the people and things in your life. Notice all the positive things that have happened to to you, and see all the beautiful things around you. Then give thanks to God or the universe (whatever your religion professes) for all the small miracles and goodness of life. Giving thanks is inherently appreciating life and being grateful.

You need to be grateful, grateful not only for all the positive things that have come to you but also for all the good things that will be coming your way. You can actually will the good things to come your way by giving thanks that they will come your way. In other words, be grateful also for the things that have not happened yet but are on their way to you. Gratitude will attract more good things to you, and will add to and accumulate more and more feelings of gratitude in you.

You see, you need to feel gratitude. Because feeling grateful will put you in the right frame of mind to enjoy life to the fullest.

Moments in Silence

Today, I just want to focus on 'moments in silence' ... my newfound addiction to heal the body, mind and soul.

It's been close to two months since I last posted. Been busy with a few things: keeping up with the political scenario at the local (read: state/national) level, hence, been busy updating my other blog that muses on community and socio-political issues; working to put food on the table; and, equally as important, gifting myself with moments in silence.














These days, somehow I find myself taking the time to seek out moments of silence wherever, whenever I can. Moments of silence can be very addictive...to me, at least.

Such moments of quiet and solitude, though becoming rare, can be found in many places, one just needs to make the effort to seek them out. Such moments of silence could be found possibly in one's own backyard, a quiet corner to be all on you own; or a quiet spot in your orchard if you are one of those lucky to own one; or in your bedroom, living room, or office; or maybe, in a chapel on your way to work.













Obviously, silence in nature can only be afforded by nature walks or, for the adventurous ones, jungle treks. If none of these are accessible to a city soul, then your own backyard or a walk in the park could do the trick. But the best of the best moments of silence are the ones where one can bask in Nature's sacred setting. For it is only here in Nature's abundant diversity can we learn of Nature's gifts of peace, harmony and renewal for us mere mortals.

These are my favorite, the nature walks or jungle treks. Here is where you can bask in the beauty and splendour of God's creation.













Upon entering into the Silence of Nature, one can immediately feel the cool stillness that brings a deep sense of serenity into the heart and that breathes an energy force into one's body.

Here in nature's tapestry of life, we can see how interlinked, interconnected, and intertwined all creations are with one another - flora, fauna and man. There is wisdom in the learning of this, how each and every living being sustains and live off one another.













When we understood this interplay among all creations, only then can we have a deeper sense of reverence of our own lives and the lives of every living matter or being, no matter big or small, that surrounds us and sustains us. There will also be a heightened wisdom when we understand life and source of life.

The wondrous thing about such times of silence in nature is not only the peace one savours when basking in such solitude but also the memories of these scenes imprinted on one's mind.

For there are times when in frantically running daily errands, either fighting traffic in the bustling city or walking the block to the bank under the hot sun, my mind flashes back to these nature scenes, and all at once, the cool stillness of nature calms my mind, cools my body and soothes my soul.

Many a times, I believe these scenes from my 'moments in silence' could have saved me from just breaking down from the pressure of the everyday work and family stress.

These imprints of silence-in-nature are the ones that I use to fall back on in my times of stress at work, at home or fighting traffic in the midst of a jam. Falling back on these soothing imprints could probably have been my saving grace. I have no way of knowing except here I am today, still sane, still alive and kicking. And today, I share them with you.

Malaysians Maturing Politically

In my last post I concluded with "Malaysians have lived through a number of these abuses for a while now. It would be interesting to see how fed-up we, Malaysians, are of the such political abuses and stupidities. I wonder whether Malaysians are desperate for a change?" As we've seen, by the early hours of 9th March 2008, Malaysians showed they are immensely FED-UP with the going-ons in the country lately. Earlier on, one could actually feel the ticking of a time bomb ready to explode, the 'desperation for a change' being the time bomb. Most thinking Malaysians felt it. Only the BN ruling coalition didn't. And the coalition paid dearly.

Lucky for the ruling coalition, the explosion was not a total annihilation. It merely dented the ruling coalition rendering it nearly ineffective by denying it the two-thirds majority that it so desperately needed to continue with its merry-way of governing. The time-bomb also took down 4 crucial and the richest states in Malaysia in addition to the long-time opposition state of Kelantan. This is a first in Malaysia's history, and it shocked all Malaysians and onlookers.

Many seasoned politicians and long timers were toppled and sent off to political retirement by green horns and first-timers. I know a great number of Malaysians were jumping for joy in the wee hours of the morning of 9th March 2008 as Malaysia woke up to a 'New Dawn' as Anwar Ibrahim, the founder of Malaysia's first multiracial party, PKR, puts it. Congratulations and our profound thanks to Anwar for orchestrating a well-coordinated opposition, uniting them and putting up a great battle for oppressed Malaysians. You gave Malaysians hope when we thought there was none. We salute you, Datuk Seri!

Uniting different races within a single party is in itself a daunting task. That Anwar could galvanize the the different racial parties which represent differing extremities is just mind boggling. But the time must have been right, too. Malaysians have advanced and matured. Many factors contributed to this. Malaysians are more educated, we know good governance when we see one. Being more educated have opened the Malaysian minds; when you know more, you understand more. When you understand more, you become more understanding, more tolerant. And tolerance is the cornerstone that keeps Malaysia's multiracial society intact. We have always touted our multiracialness, but never before has this been put to test till now. It is a wonderful feeling to see that Malaysians can pass the test - Malays, Chinese, Indians, Kadazan, Dusun, Bajau, Iban, Dayak, etc can actually work together. Yes, Malaysians have passed the test, but beware, it is only the preliminaries. Malaysians have shown that there is hope for unity; we can be united if we desperately want to. The daunting task lays ahead. Our biggest task yet is to be committed to our cause to stay united. To stay united, Malaysia must have the political maturity in order to rise above petty racial and religious disagreements. By last weekend polling, it is obvious that Malaysian have come a long way...Malaysians are becoming politically matured. And as we progress, let us work towards a more heightened political maturity.

Technology contributed somewhat. The media and the Internet not only give us better access to information and knowledge but also offer more avenues whereby to voice our thoughts, our beliefs, our frustrations. But the media and Internet are but mere tools, we still have to fall back on our political maturity to make rational and cautioned use of such tools at our disposal so as not to antagonize and anger people like some quarters did in the last campaign.

The game plan is to stay united so that the Alternative Coalition or as Anwar puts it, the 'Government-in-Waiting' will become the Government of Malaysia come next elections. The Alternative Coalition has only succeeded in the easiest task. Now, comes the difficult part: fulfilling the promises you have made, and delivering to the people. Keeping your promise and delivery will ensure the people's solid support. Because if the Alternative Coalition can commit, serve and deliver effectively, then you would have, in essence, practised fairness, transparency and great political maturity in good governance.

Of Elections, Exercising Our Rights & Voting Wisely

The time has come again for us to exercise our right to vote in Malaysia. The past few weeks have been hectic cos I was co-opted to focus a bit on the elections via my job. Somehow, I have come to believe that politics in my country, and especially the state where I live, brings out the worst in people. Maybe it's the same everywhere, maybe it's just here. Still, politics puts so much power in the hands of a few, and everywhere which way you turn, you see the greed, the abuse, the corruption, the money-salivating politicians at their worst.

I often wonder why politics have to be so dirty, so negative, so evil. Am I just being a simpleton for wanting politics to be good for people? Let me rephrase, politics per se should be good because politics is the art or science of government and works for the people. Hence, it should be good because anything that serves the people has to be good. Then how come politics in this modern day and age reeks of everything negative and stinky under the sun? Answer, politics is a good art/science, only the politicians, the humans, make it bad. Through politics, we put power in the hands of a few, and humans are the only creatures on the face of the earth capable of abusing power in every single way.

But lucky for us, i.e., those of us living in democracies, we are given the right to choose the government, and to exercise that right every 5 years or so in the election process. However, even that simple right doesn't amount to much when ingenious politicians cheat and tamper with justice within a democratic system of government. Where I live, the word 'Election' only conjures money politics, political frogs that can be bought, and ghost voters (mostly from neighbouring countries and given citizenship so that they can tilt the elections results whichever way according the the whims and fancies of the powers that be).

Still, elections work most of the time. We have been able to brings down dictatorial Goliaths in the past. The feeling is great when simple village folks are able to overthrow the government once in the while. But then again, this democratic process can't run away from, again, the human factors in terms of emotions, emotional, racial and religious affinities. These human factors are what can ruin justice. So, there are many, many cases here where the simple folks keep on voting the same politicians and keeping them in power for decades when as their so-called representatives, these politicians had not done much to bring progress and development back to the people. The voters keep forgiving them over and over again because they share the same race or the same religion. I hope this country will change the law to allow the head of the government, both state and national, to serve ONLY TWO (2) terms. This has worked well for the USA. It should be used by countries like Malaysia and Indonesia where apparently it is most need. Allowing the head of government to serve only 2 terms will surely do away with a great deal of political evils such as nepotism and cronyism, and make politics become the good art/science of government that truly serve the people.

Polling day in Malaysia will be on 08th March 2008. I have not voted in the last two elections because the results are predictable, the same government will remain in power. But like I said, if you let the same government have staying power far too long, so much negativity will ensue. Abuses such as nepotism and cronyism will allow people in the corridors of power, the Executive, to even influence, impact and control the Judiciary. The country's Executives can easily pick and choose their own to control the judicial system. It goes without saying that a government having power for too long will monopolize and mismanage the country's finances and economics, keeping the money for themselves and their own.

Malaysians have lived though a number of these abuses for a while now. It would be interesting to see how fed-up we, Malaysians, are of the such political abuses and stupidities. I wonder whether Malaysians are desperate for a change? Come tomorrow, let's exercise our right to vote and vote wisely.

In Silent Prayer My Soul I Bare

In Your Chapel, the quiet consoles
Bowed in silence, my prayer just flows

In silent prayer, my soul I bare
This is me, my Lord, I went astray
But I am here now, no need to explain
You’ve always been there through all of my pain
Twas me who turned away
Lost for a long while, now seeking your way.

This simple act to bare my soul, easy it should be, or so I thought
But tis hard, my inside wrought
I have closed up for far too long
Let nobody in, been crying alone

How hard it is to open up my pains
To lay bare my sorrow for everyone to sense
Tears swell and roll down my cheeks, soothe my skin
They wash away the hurt, the ugly pain
The resentment, the bitter anger bit by bit go wane.

I can still recall the bitter, bitter taste of anger on my tongue
I now shrug off the hurt that still remains, lesser now, much less in time
I had backed away from You in anger
My cries You did not hear
I had stopped praying, stopped coming here

I had ranted, why don’t You change his waywardness?
Why do I have to go through this pain? Why let me suffer the ugliness?
Why me? Who have I wronged to deserve this, who?
To do good, I tried. To be good, I did, too.
A normal being I try to be, I did not steal, I did not kill, I did not disobey
Then why torment a suffering soul this way?
Why? Why? Oh why?

So many questions, so many years
No answer came for five and twenty years.

Then You beckoned, this third day of the Year
Your Chapel seemed welcoming, come revere
Felt tired for far too long, I sigh
Just needed to stop and rest awhile…

Silence...Sublime silence
Grant me refuge in Your comforting silence.

In silence, I bow my head down
My torment, my pain I lay them all down
Your forgiveness I seek in silence deep
Protect and guide me henceforth, I beseech
Pray, grant me forgiveness, heal this lost soul
In silent prayer, I lay bare my soul.

‘Silence and Soft Speech’ Attract Abundance

Gosh! This stuff really works! Silence and soft speech can indeed attract abundance. Call it what you may, but all I care is that this is the real deal! How else can I explain the many small abundance that I have been blessed with since I started practicing this on the third day of the New Year. And tonight, I found out I won close to two thousand in the local lottery! I have a feeling more abundance are on their way to me! Thank you, thank you, thank you Universe!

It’s been two weeks since my last post entitled “Attract Good Fortune in the New Year through Silence and the Practice of Soft Speech”. And I have had many small fortunes since. Except for small lapses here and there (I am human, still), but overall, I feel much calmer, at peace with myself and grateful to the universe for everything good in my life. So I’m like making a promise to myself to practice ‘silence and soft speech’ on a daily basis simply because I am experiencing notable changes in my life that are wonderful. I simply just feel good about me now!

From Edginess to Blessedness

Overall, my lifestyle has not changed much. I follow the same work and home routine still, everyday. Usually (especially the past year) by this time of the month (I am a salaried worker, btw) after paying the bills, I would be walking on edge as I usually don’t have much cash on me or in my savings. I don’t know about you but, somehow, having money on me makes me feel secure and confident going about my business. With money, I don’t have to carry around the feeling of dread and insecurity that comes with knowing that you have no cash in hand and you have busted your credit card limit; you know, that dreaded fear that the car will suddenly give way and you have no cash for urgent repairs, or you might bump into old friends and you couldn’t even buy them coffee, etc, etc. I dislike that feeling of dread and edginess that come with the lack of money. Money gives me security and confidence.

Since the start of the year, I made sure I practice simple forms of meditation everyday. I observe moments of silence as much as possible, whenever possible, and I try to speak much softer than I usually do. The past three weeks, I am filled with this feeling of abundance and confidence. Why? Because I have a few thousands in savings, and a few hundreds on me (and now the nearly 2k that I won tonight), which is more than enough to give me the feeling of security,confidence in going about my day, not to mention a wonderful sense of calm inside. And, I have even booked air tickets for five in my family for us to go on vacation in March. Call it coincidence, or whatever. But I call these small miracles brought by the wonderful practice of silence and soft speech .

So what exactly is Silence and Soft Speech, or the practice of it?

Silence

Silence relaxes the mind and body. By practicing silence, we gain and preserve energy and vitality, but there are also many benefits to be obtained by silence. I stumbled upon an article on the 'Power of Silence' by wahiduddin which I am recommending to anyone interested in the topic.

To practice silence, everyday of the week, if possible, I make an effort to retreat from the noise, demands and expectations of the world around me for half an hour or so. I close myself in, and get in touch with my inner self to find the peace within. I practice silence by doing a few things that I now recommend:

1. Observe moments of quiet and stillness

• Sit in a comfortable chair for a few minutes, close your eyes, breath slowly and just stay quiet…relax.
• Focus all your attention on a soothing object for a few minutes: it could be a water feature on your office table or room, a poster on your wall, anything that gives you a sense of tranquility.
• Find a quiet spot outdoors, better still on a hill or a building top, and just close your eyes for a few minutes and feel the cool breeze on your face. The high you get can be addictive.

2. Spend Solitary Time-outs:

• Take a bath: a few minutes of showering or soaking in the bathtub, just feel the water caressing your skin into total relaxation.
• Go for a relaxed walk in a quiet park for no specific purpose.
• Sit in the park watching the birds, or people pass by or children playing.
• If you live or pass near a church or chapel any day of the week, just stop by and sit for few minutes, and just enjoy the healing silence in His presence.
  

3. Meditation

I would go for simple meditation that one can easily learn from many sources, library, online, etc. For a simple meditation, just sit in a quiet and comfortable position, start with a few deep breaths and count down slowly from 25 to one to relax your whole body totally, release all stress and tension, and just go into your inner self, and focus on the stillness within. You may want to repeat some affirmations if you want to, and/or strengthen that further with visualizations.

Or you may want to learn yoga. There are plentiful resources out there.

Otherwise, you could go online and seek out the numerous free courses on meditation techniques. I came across a good meditation system, the Silva Life System which I am currently using. It’s great and works for me. No harm in checking out the Silva Method.

Soft Speech

Silence has healing properties for the mind, body and soul. The more moments of silence we observe, the more revitalized and tranquil we feel. Of course, being part of the human race we cannot continue to be silent for long. Speaking and/or communicating are part and parcel of living. However, we can keep speech to the bare essential at crucial times. And speaking in soft tones is always soothing to a listener. The many mistakes we make are by opening our mouths too much. Most of us have this need to be heard, to make a point, to contradict and to criticize. Often, talking too much allows us to say foolish things. We offend and hurt people through speech, and by speaking too much we give out secrets that we later regret.

One just needs to recognize the pervading goodness of silence; that it is in silence that we can do our best work because all our energy and willpower become concentrated and intense in silence. And the best part is, silence is spiritual and brings us closer to our God.

Attract Good Fortune in the New Year through 'Silence' and the Practice of Soft Speech

It’s been a week into the New Year 2008. The past week, I have been struggling with what will be my first post for the year. I want to write about something special, something that touches deep and will bring good for the rest of my life. I actually had a problem deciding what to write, especially after a rather difficult 2007. My main concern is how to make 2008 a better year than the last. I somewhat panicked cos some Feng Shui foreseers say 2008 may not be quite fortunate for those born in my ‘animal’ year (which is the year of the sheep, likewise with those born in the year of the rabbit and horse). But I do not choose to believe them. They said year 2007 would be a lucky year, and looked what transpired. 2007 was not that fortunate for me, after all.

I BELIEVE my fate lies in my hands.

So while struggling the past week, I did a bit of rethinking, and reading here and there. I came across something that struck a cord within. It was some articles I read on the virtues of silence, calmness in adversity and ‘soft speech’ and how these can bring you inner peace and wealth, in all sense of the word.

Wagging Tongues and Loudness Brings Bad Fortune

At the start of 2008, instead of feeling energized, I had actually felt tired and spent after a stressed-out 2007. I suddenly realized why I felt this way – I have actually been talking too much the past year. As far as I can remember, the past year was really a bitch! (pardon the language). Never before had I spent so much energy bitching, gossiping, resenting and basically just complaining, complaining, complaining. Come to think of it, I was basically a raving lunatic the past year for reasons only known to me. I spent so much energy wallowing in self-pity and resentment. For trivial reasons, I shouted at my colleagues and screamed at the kids. No wonder, I felt so tired. Believe you me, the law of attraction was hitting me right between the eyes, and I still couldn’t figure out why things just went from bad to worse simply because I was too busy bitching and being angry. And worst, alongside all the anger and resentment; my position at work suffered and my finances just went down the drain. My debts were piling, and money that should have come my way, never came. By year’s end, I knew I had to rethink my handle on things or lose control of my life.

The articles on silence and ‘soft speech’ caught my eyes 3 days into the New Year. And at that moment, just the very thought of silence and soft speech brought a sense of calmness over me. And, think, if I were to actually practice silence and soft speech on a day to day basis, will it not be highly possible that I can have inner peace, serenity and attract good fortune? It’s been barely 5 days into this practice of silence, and I try to talk less and low. My heartbeat seems calmer. I was not angry at the waiter for forgetting about the breakfast I ordered this morning. Is it coincidence that I received just today the 5k that someone owed me nearly 2 years ago? Maybe it is, I don’t know yet.

Silence is a Virtue

Silence is a virtue, indeed. One thing is for sure, we can stay out of trouble if we just keep our mouth shut. Use wisely in everyday life, silence is an excellent tool in daily conversations and to make negotiations work our way. But many of us fear silence. We find silence awkward, uncomfortable. And to break the awkward silence, many of us make the mistake of opening our mouths and making even more mistakes. This happens often in business negotiations. Some Asian cultures have used silence as a business tool to their advantage.

As pointed out by Tim Berry in his post using_silence, silence is one of the most powerful tools in conversation, and, perhaps more to business negotiations. “…sometimes a Japanese person will win concessions from an American simply by not fearing silence. For example, the American breaks what seems like an awkward pause by lowering the price, thinking that the silence is disapproval. The Japanese person, however, was simply respecting the importance of the offer.”

In business, in order to make effective presentations, one of the tips given by Guykawasaki is "don't overwhelm the audience. Be entertaining but use moments of silence, soft speech, and slow cadence."

On a personal level, Roy Posner on gurusoftware said “If we speak too much, these energies are squandered, which tends attract corresponding negative results from the field of life. However, if we conserve our energies through reduced speech - or, better yet, by completely remaining silent - the energies are fortified and strengthened, which tends to attract sudden and abundant good fortune from the world around us.”

From my own experience, I believe this last quote to be true. When one bitches, rants, and raves, one drives away all positive energy and attract in its stead bad vibes and unfortunate events. The law of attraction, remember? Therefore, if we conserve our energy by keeping silent, the inner peace and spiritual harmony and goodness we feel will infuse into the space of life around us and attract more good vibes and abundance of good fortune.

In silence, you are more in contact with your own reality by calming the senses and controlling the mind. There is a voice that you can hear in that silence, the voice of your own soul. You will feel the Divine presence when silence reigns.